You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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