Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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