ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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