i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
