I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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