I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
