i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
