pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
