Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Enjoy the penises
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
