are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
