i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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