CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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