I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
