The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
