redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize