Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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