It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize
