What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
