Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
