Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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