This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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