Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
