There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
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How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
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You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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