im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
