I wish I could punch you in the face.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
