I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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