David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
