Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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