Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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