420 ftw
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I will be naked everywhere
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
