community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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