I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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