First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
