??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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