matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
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