when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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