My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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