Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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