I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
