He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
