I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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