I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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