He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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