I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
