I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
