you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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