so that wasnt chicken after all
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
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It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i dont even know how to be here
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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