The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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