You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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