I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
