angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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