Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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