Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
