suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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