They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
