She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
