He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
