dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
