I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
why do cheetos always look like penises
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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